Online Conflict Coaching & Mediation Program “Pre-Pilot” (4 weeks)

with John Kinyon



weekly live session zoom calls:
thursdays march 7-28, 2019.


time of zoom calls:

How to Attend the Weekly Online Live Group Sessions on Zoom

The “Pre-Pilot” live sessions are on Thursdays, 12-1:30pm Pacific Time on March 7, 14, 21, and 28. Links to recordings of each session will be put in a section below.

Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android:

If you're using Zoom for the first time, you can find more information about how to use Zoom here.

Or join by phone:

Or iPhone one-tap :
    US: +1 408 638 0968, or +1 646 876 9923, 
Or Telephone:
    Dial (for higher quality, dial a number based on your current location): 
        US: +1 408 638 0968  or +1 646 876 9923  or +1 669 900 6833 or +1 669 900 6833
    +1 (646) 558 8656 or +1 (408) 638 0968
    Meeting ID: 356 842 557
    International numbers available:
[Please note that mobile devices (smartphones, tablets etc.) generally cannot download files. To play a recording on your device, use the media players on this page. To transfer a file to your device, first download it to a computer and then sync it to your device.]

Learning Resources

Mediate Your Life Training Manual. 5th edition [Digital version. Click to open]


Recommended Weekly Study, Contemplation, and Discussion Materials for the Program

  • The Waking Up Course, mindfulness and nonduality meditation app by Sam Harris. Daily practice.

  • David Whyte. Poet, author, speaker. The conversational nature of reality. Poetry and organizations. Authenticity, compassion and courageous conversations. I particularly recommend listening to David's talks.

  • Francis Weller. Soul and grief work. He has written books, and I highly recommend purchasing his audio programs.

  • Rupert Spira. Nonduality spiritual teacher. Tremendous clarity on understanding and practicing nonduality. See YouTube videos.

  • Eckhart Tolle. Spiritual teacher. Books: A New Earth, Stillness Speaks, The Power of Now. See YouTube videos.

  • Byron Katie and The Work. Spiritual teacher. A Mind At Home with Itself, is her newest book.

  • Three Principles — consciousness, mind, thought. Originated by Scottish welder turned spiritual teacher Sydney Banks. See also YouTube videos.

  • On Having No Head, book by Douglas Harding. See also The Headless Way website.

  • Gabor Mate. Trauma and addiction. See also the work of Peter Levine, pioneer in the trauma field, and Sarah Peyton and Susan Skye (NVC and trauma).

For more learning resources for other meditation apps and many other resources.

My plan as the program unfolds is to provide reflection/integration prompts and suggestions, daily/weekly emails, content recordings from me, relevant podcast episodes.

Group Email Forum
I see this Google Group as being primarily for logistics, announcements, requests, reaching out to connect about something, etc.

Facebook Group [has been created]

It’s called Online Conflict Coaching and Mediation Program 2019. I envision it as a forum for group sharing of self-learning, your integration process of the material, sharing learning resources (e.g. books, websites, podcasts, apps), poetry, quotes particularly valuable to you, etc.

How do you want to deepen, process, and integrate your learnings as we go through creative self-expression?
- Journaling? Artwork? Contemplative meditation? Music? Dance?
- How often do you want to commit to doing this? Daily?

Group Contact List and System for Peer Practice, Accountability, and Feedback/Evaluation

[Practice can include asking people in your personal and work life to let you practice on them]

Video/Audio Recordings of Each Live Session

To protect privacy, these recording are ONLY for our own use, to review for learning, not to share with anyone else.

  • March 7 [click to view and/or download]

  • March 14 [click to view and/or download]

  • March 21

  • March 28

Learning Modules/Topics

Individual Coaching

  • Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Enemy Image Process/EIP, 3 role plays)

  • Practicing for a Difficult Conversation (Intensity Exercise/Practice, Need Behind the No practice)

  • Having a Difficult Conversation (Interpersonal Mediation/IPM process, Connection and Solution Requests, 3Chairs Process)

  • Debriefing for Resilience (Mourn Celebrate Learn/MCL process)

  • Self-Forgiveness (Chooser-Educator/C-E process)

  • Inner Clarity and Decision-Making (Internal Mediation/IM process)

  • Healing & Reconciliation (H&R) process — making amends and healing role play

  • Role playing

Coaching in Mediation

  • 5-Step Mediation Model and 4-step Healing & Reconciliation (H&R) process

  • 9 Mediation Skills (elements of empathy, connection requests, pulling by the ears, emergency empathy, tracking, interrupting, self-empathy, self-expression, solution requests and agreements)

  • Pre-mediation session(s)

  • Post-mediation session(s)

  • Mediator self-care

 Other Modules

  • The coaching relationship — collaborative learning, coaching agreement, leading/guiding/directing and following, process and content, ethics

  • Sharing the foundation distinctions and skills

    • OFNR (OFN, then R, for self, then OFNR for other)

    • Self-Connection Practice (mindfulness, nonduality, spirituality)

    • Elements of Empathy for speaking and listening in conversation

    • Solution requests, hearing and saying "no"

  • The business of coaching and mediating (creating a website, marketing, etc.)