Online Conflict Coaching & Mediation Pilot Program (6 Months - 1 Year)

with John Kinyon



weekly live session zoom calls:
thursdays apr 25 -. nov 7, 2019.


time of zoom calls:

The online conflict coaching and mediation program is for people who want to develop their abilities to offer coaching to individuals dealing with inner and outer conflict challenges, and to mediate conflicts and difficult conversations between people. In this online training, participants learn and practice with the Mediate Your Life (MYL) approach, based in the work of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and will include integration with mindfulness, particularly deeper elements of awareness, consciousness, and nonduality. In this approach mediating between two people is an application of conflict coaching. So, this is a conflict coaching program that includes mediation. 

The Level 1 of the Pilot (first 6 month phase) will go from April 25 and through November 7. There will be 1.5 hour weekly live sessions will be on Zoom video conferencing and happen from 12-1:30pm Pacific (California) Time. The whole program will be offered in two levels: Level 1 (first 6 month phase, learning and practice), and Level 2 (second 6 month phase, support for working with actual clients).

Additional individual and group mentoring with me will also be available, depending on space in my schedule.

I am calling it a pilot because it will to some degree be exploratory, experimental, and co-creative as to the best learning structures, systems, and methodologies for this program.

Prerequisite: I am intending this first 6 month pilot of the online program to be primarily for people who I already have some connection with in some way, such as attending a Mediate Your Life training, collaborating with me on a project, or doing coaching together. It is also for people who have been actively and regularly practicing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for at least one year, including attending trainings and participating in NVC practice groups and empathy partner practice. I am willing to make exceptions to having worked with me in some way previously, depending on circumstances.

The Online Program
The weekly live sessions will primarily focus on group learning around me coaching participants as they coach and mediate in role play situations. We’ll pause the role playing often to harvest and learn together as a group from what has been happening, and frequently rotate people through the roles of coach/mediator and client. There will also be time for people to share their ongoing learnings, integration, and inquiry with the program material happening outside of the weekly live sessions. An outline and sequencing of learning modules and topics will be provided, which can be adjusted based on group feedback and requests.

The training will provide in-depth experiential learning and practice using the Mediate Your Life processes, or "maps," for conflict coaching and mediation. There will be learning resources (written, audio, video), peer practice, connection, and support. I also plan to bring in the importance for me of exploring how to apply in a practical, doable, and useful way an experience of nondual consciousness and soul, as well as empathic community-building and engaging at the social-political level. The program will be facilitated in a co-creative and mutual learning way. It will support people to explore how these dimensions resonate in their own experience and fit within their individual expression of how they hold and offer the work. My larger vision is that empathic communication skills, practices, and community are recognized in the cultural mainstream as an integral part of health and wellness, and part of humanity's evolution toward responding together to the challenges we face and creating a healthy and sustainable world.

The MYL processes, or maps, for individual coaching include: Internal Mediation, Self-Forgiveness (Chooser-Educator), Preparing for Difficult Conversations (Enemy Image Process), Practicing Difficult Conversations (Intensity Exercise), Requests/Agreements, Need Behind the No, Interpersonal Mediation, 3Chairs Process for Difficult Conversations, Debriefing for Resilience (Mourn Celebrate Learn), and the Healing & Reconciliation process for making amends and healing role play.

The training also offers deep learning and practice in the 5-step Mediation Model and 9 mediation skills, developed over many years in the Mediate Your Life program. Practicing in the role of mediator, you dial up and down the difficulty/intensity level in role play practice to customize your learning experience in a safe, supportive learning environment. To maximize learning and growth, you rotate through the roles of mediator and disputants, give and receive supportive peer feedback, and receive in-the-moment coaching. The training will also offer the Healing & Reconciliation map for mediating conflicts based in emotional hurt, as well as maps for pre- and post-mediation with clients and mediator self-care. 

You will be able to dial up and down the difficulty level to customize your learning, and maximize your growth by playing the roles of both coach and client, give and receive supportive peer feedback, and receive in-the-moment coaching. 

In addition, I will be experimenting with a peer evaluation certification process for those who want more than just a certificate of completion. 

See Learning Modules below.


Philosophy of Money
The pricing below is what I (John) would like to receive to support this work and my sustainability. However, because I see this work being for the greater good of humanity and all people and communities, and because I want to support a monetary system based in giving and receiving from the meaning and enjoyment of contributing to one another's well being, you are free to give what feels right to you. My request is that you stretch yourself to give as much as you're willing and able to give. Not only will this support me and this work, I believe it will support you to receive the most benefit and value from doing the work. If you would like to give an amount different from what is listed below, email:, or call (415) 710-2777. Thank you for wanting to be part of this work in the world! 

Requested Tuition Pricing (for the two 6 month phases)

  • $300 per month

  • You can give monthly or in chunks of one or two payments.

Applying to be in the program: If you are interested, send me an email and I will send you a few questions I’d like you to answer. I may also ask to have a phone or Zoom conversation with you.

FOR INFORMATION AND TO APPLY email, or call (415) 710-2777.

Learning Modules/Topics

Individual Coaching

  • Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Enemy Image Process/EIP, 3 role plays)

  • Practicing for a Difficult Conversation (Intensity Exercise/Practice, Connection and Solution Requests)

  • Having a Difficult Conversation (Interpersonal Mediation/IPM process, 3Chairs Process, role playing)

  • Debriefing for Resilience (Mourn Celebrate Learn/MCL process)

  • Self-Forgiveness (Chooser-Educator/C-E process)

  • Inner Clarity and Decision-Making (Internal Mediation/IM process)

  • Healing & Reconciliation (H&R) process — making amends and healing role play

Coaching in Mediation

  • 5-Step Mediation Model and 4-step Healing & Reconciliation (H&R) process

  • 9 Mediation Skills (elements of empathy, connection requests, pulling by the ears, emergency empathy, tracking, interrupting, self-empathy, self-expression, solution requests and agreements)

  • Pre-mediation session(s)

  • Post-mediation session(s)

  • Mediator self-care

 Other Modules

  • The coaching relationship — collaborative learning, leading/guiding/directing vs. following, process and content, ethics, empathic community, trauma and addiction

  • Conflict coaching phases — Engagement Conversation, coaching agreement, foundation distinctions and skills, learning and applying the maps

  • Sharing the foundation distinctions and skills

    • OFNR (OFN, then R, for self, then OFNR for other)

    • Self-Connection Practice (mindfulness, consciousness)

    • Elements of Empathy for speaking and listening in conversation

    • Solution requests, hearing and saying "no," Need Behind the No practice

  • The business of coaching and mediating (creating a website, marketing, etc.)