Online Conflict Coaching & Mediation Pilot Program (6 Months)

with John Kinyon



weekly live session zoom calls:
thursdays april 25 - Nov 7, 2019.


time of zoom calls:

How to Attend the Weekly Online Live Group Sessions on Zoom

The live sessions are on Thursdays, 12-1:30pm Pacific Time, April 25 - Nov 7, 2019. Links to recordings of each session will be put in a section below.

Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android:

If you're using Zoom for the first time, you can find more information about how to use Zoom here.

Or join by phone:

Or iPhone one-tap :
    US: +1 408 638 0968, or +1 646 876 9923, 
Or Telephone:
    Dial (for higher quality, dial a number based on your current location): 
        US: +1 408 638 0968  or +1 646 876 9923  or +1 669 900 6833 or +1 669 900 6833
    +1 (646) 558 8656 or +1 (408) 638 0968
    Meeting ID: 356 842 557
    International numbers available:
[Please note that mobile devices (smartphones, tablets etc.) generally cannot download files. To play a recording on your device, use the media players on this page. To transfer a file to your device, first download it to a computer and then sync it to your device.]

Structure of the Live Sessions

The structure I plan to start with is: First 10 minutes for group sharing (inviting people to speak who haven’t as much). In the next 10 minutes I will lead an experience and questions/sharing related to nondual awareness, soul, or trauma. In the next 40 minutes I will coach people as they coach and mediate with role play situations, pausing frequently for group interaction and for people to rotate through the roles of coach/mediator and client. The next 15 minutes will be for breakout discussion and practice in pairs and triads. In the last 15 minutes we’ll debrief the session, and talk about next live session and the other learning/support elements and facets of the program. I’ll be open to adjusting and refining this structure as we go based on your feedback and requests.

Contacting Me

Contact me any time with questions, requests, suggestions, by email:, or phone: 415-710-2777. I am deeply committed to you learning what is most valuable to you and reaching your visions and goals through this program, and so I will make myself as available as I can to support you and stay connected with you as we go. Please reach out to me at any time.

Individual Action Plan (IAP)

I would like you to have some kind of journal to write/draw about and track your vision, goals, and learning as you go through the program. I’d like you to start off answering 3 questions for yourself:

  1. Your big dream/vision for what you want to create in your life and/or the world that being in this program supports?

  2. Specific goals you want to achieve — 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, and beyond goals?

  3. What amount of time each day/week you are committing yourself to learning and practice, and what specific learning areas and activities you are taking on?

I ask that you journal on a regular basis to process, deepen, and integrate your learning, and to check in with yourself periodically about the 3 IAP questions. I will also be recommending and encouraging you to have an accountability partner to support you with this as well.

Are there other modes of creative self-expression for you to process, deepen, and integrate your learning?
- Art? Contemplation? Music? Movement?

Learning Resources

MEDIATE YOUR LIFE TRAINING MANUAL. 5th edition [Digital version. Click to open]
I am planning to provide new handouts as we move through the course. For current handouts go to:


To protect privacy, these recording are ONLY for our own use, to review for learning, not to share with anyone else.

I request that you have a daily sitting and/or walking meditation practice for the 6 months of the program.

Recommended Meditation Apps

  • The Waking Up Course, mindfulness and nonduality meditation app by Sam Harris (This one I most highly recommend)

  • Headspace

  • Insight Timer. Hundreds of meditation teachers and practices, guided meditations, donation based (I particularly like Stephen Procter)


I believe it’s very important and valuable to hold both the spiritual and scientific perspectives together in a dynamic, creative tension in which they mutually inform and complement each other, deepening and broadening into the good, the beautiful, and the true. My approach to coaching and mediation is to continually seek to integrate these deeper and broader understandings of our human experience into the OFNR distinctions, 3 chair model, and maps. I hope as we go through the 6 months that you make time to look into all the resources below, which I have found most valuable. I can also support you to find other related resources if any of these do not speak to you, or how to prioritize if you don’t believe you have time to study all of them. Let me know.

Consciousness, Nonduality, and Soul

  • Rupert Spira. Nonduality spiritual teacher. Tremendous clarity on understanding and practicing nonduality. See YouTube videos. He also has a number of books, and there are essays and interviews on his website.

  • Francis Weller. Soul and grief work. He has written books, most recent book is Wild Edge of Sorrow. I highly recommend purchasing his audio programs, particularly the 10 session series Living a Soulful Life.


  • Sarah Peyton, book, Your Resonant Self. NVC, trauma, and interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience. See Sarah’s website for guided meditations and to receive other learning resources.

  • Peter Levine, pioneer in the trauma field. Developed body of work called Somatic Experiencing.

  • Gabor Mate. Trauma and addiction.

For more learning resources

I am planning to send weekly emails related to the content of that week or the coming week, as well as provide video/audio recordings of the course content. The emails will offer additional content and learning resources, plus reflection/integration prompts and practice suggestions.

I would like to have a 15 minute check in call with you at least once per month. You are welcome to schedule these calls with me as often as you feel is needed to optimally support you. You can also schedule longer mentoring sessions with me [for these I will ask you about giving an additional financial contribution, and we can discuss what works for you]. Here is a link to my online scheduling system.

Group Email Forum
I see this Google Group as being primarily for logistical communication —e.g announcements, requests, etc. Communication Channel(s) for the Group

On, the project is called Online Conflict Coaching Program with John Kinyon. I’m trying out using it as a forum for our group to share learnings, your integration process of the material, learning resources (e.g. books, websites, podcasts, apps), poetry, quotes particularly valuable to you, etc.

Share how you are deepening, processing, and integrating your learnings as we go.

Contact List, Peer Practice, Accountability, and Feedback/Evaluation

[Practice can include asking people in your personal and work life to let you practice on them]

Learning Modules/Topics, In Sequential Order of Study/Practice Through the 6 Months

Building the Foundation

  • Overview of conflict coaching phases — Engagement Conversation, coaching agreement, foundation distinctions and skills, learning and applying the maps

  • The coaching relationship — collaborative learning, leading/guiding/directing vs. following, process and content

  • Sharing the foundation distinctions and skills

    • OFNR (OFN, then R, for self, then OFNR for other)

    • Self-Connection Practice (OFNR Mindfulness — nondual awareness, soul, science)

    • Elements of Empathy for speaking and listening in conversation

Individual Coaching and Pre-Post Mediation Sessions

  • Preparing for a Difficult Conversation (Enemy Image Process/EIP, 3 role plays)

  • Debriefing for Resilience (Mourn Celebrate Learn/MCL process)

The 5-Step Mediation Model and the 9 Mediation Skills (see Section 3 in the MYL manual)

  • Empathic listening/reflection in mediation

  • Connection requests

  • Solution requests and agreements

Individual Coaching: Difficult Conversations

  • Practicing for a Difficult Conversation (Intensity Exercise/Practice, Connection and Solution Requests)

  • Having a Difficult Conversation (Interpersonal Mediation/IPM process, 3Chairs Process, role playing)

  • Solution requests, hearing and saying "no," Need Behind the No practice

  • 3Chairs Process for Difficult Conversations

More Mediation Skills

  • Pulling By The Ears

  • Emergency First Aid Empathy

  • Tracking

Individual Coaching with Inner Mediation Maps

  • Self-Forgiveness (Chooser-Educator/C-E process)

  • Inner Clarity and Moving Towards Dreams/Goals (Internal Mediation/IM process)

Last of the Mediation Skills

  • Interrupting

  • Mediator Self-Empathy

  • Mediator Self-Expression

4-Step Healing & Reconciliation (H&R) Process

  • Healing role play

  • Making Amends

  • Mediating with H&R

 Other Modules

  • Conflict coaching phases — Engagement Conversation, coaching agreement, foundation distinctions and skills, learning and applying the maps

  • Pre and Post Mediation

  • Mediator self-care

  • Empathic community

  • Ethics

  • The business of coaching and mediating (creating a website, marketing, etc.)